Normal?

One of the most hilarious things Aaron and I are told on a regular basis is, "But, you guys seem so normal."  Sometimes spoken in shock, other times with admiration, and more oft than not with a tinge of dismay.

 

In these days of reality episodes and talk show cat-fights everyone seems to like a good soap opera.  Media looks for an angle, professionals with their own agendas look for a story to wrangle, and the person who thinks you are getting more attention is always ready to tangle. 

Folks always seem a bit disappointed when they meet our family, suprised that we aren't the stereotype and taken aback that we aren't a 'hot mess.'

 

Honestly, I used to take pride in the fact that we seemed, on the outside, to have it all together.  Very few people in our life over the past eight years have had the 'behind the scenes, all access pass' to what life is like in our home.  Aaron and I are actually very private.  That's the reason I started this blog.  We wanted to keep family and friends (RyleeBug Groupies) in the loop but also make sure information was given through the screen and protection of a parent's love and acceptance. 

 

While others see us through a screen-we know the truth. 

(Get ready for it.)

drum roll please

Our...family...is...just...like...yours! (gasp)

 

Aaron forgets to take out the trash occassionally and may miss the hamper.  He wears wrinkled clothes and white socks with his dress shoes just to annoy me. (Really, doesn't he realize how he and the girls look is a reflection on me?!)   Ryann hates to clean her room and grumbles about nightly showers.  She goes through a box of band-aids in three days and frequently has to be reminded to carry her dinner plate to the sink.  Rylee screams and fusses when I brush her hair and absolutely hates to have her teeth brushed.  She also double parks her wheelchair in random places throughout the house that inevitably are always right where I am walking, in the dark.  And me...get comfortable...I am often impatient with the people who provide services to Rylee.  I've been known to 'accidentally on purpose' pack a cheese sandwich in a lunch bag...with the wrapper still on...if a member of the household complains about the lack of culinary variety.  I wait until Sunday night to do all the laundry for the week.  I hate to unload a dishwasher.  And, last but not least, I will generally always eat the last cookie on the plate with no regard to others.

We go on vacation yearly-to interesting places. 

(Granted we look like a clown car, and it takes me a week to get everything packed for 'just in case.')

We work real jobs and pay our bills.

(Okay, I frequently forget to pay the sewer bill but it's not intentional.  Note to self:drop off payment at their office tomorrow.)

We have friends.  Friends that have 'normal' kids (really though, isn't it a bit of a stretch to use 'normal' when the kid shoves crayons up his nose regularly and eats glue. Really?), friends that have no children, friends that are divorced, friends that are single, and friends that have children with special needs.  And we all get together from time to time-and do fun stuff.  We laugh like idiots and eat obscene amounts of food.

 

We worry about the same stuff you do-education, finances, family, job, etc.

We disagree about the same things.  Squeeze toothpaste from the end or the middle? Are cargo pants with grout and paint on them date night appropriate?  Why would you want tan paint in the entire house?

 

While we are proud to say we are normal...honestly, what we really want is to be the opposite. 

The dictionary defines

nor·mal

(adj.) conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

 

At some point, over the course of the last eight years we had an epiphany. 

We don't want to be just like you (no offense meant!)...normal.  Should we strive to conform to the standard?  I'm not sure when it happened...but know beyond a doubt Rylee caused this drastic change in our 'regular, usual' life. 

Our life now is so abnormal it's laughable.

And guess what?  We love it. 

It's not normal, but really what is normal anyway?
It's a setting on the dryer no one uses.

 

As my Ryann says, "In our house, we embrace individuality."

We wouldn't wish 'normal' on anyone we know and love.

 

 

 

So very thankful God loves us just the way we are-

crazy messes that make mistakes and are constantly trying to do better for Him.

 

Living life...more abundant.

 

Seasons

Atop Cadillac Mountain, Acadia National Park-Maine 2009

My husband hates to read.  But not for the reason you may think.  He loves listening to a James Patterson book on CD while traveling with work.  Give him a GE or Roland electronic alarm manual and he will know the system backwards and forwards before installing it on a job.  The reason he dislikes books is because he can't sit still.  Literally, not sure what the ICD-9 billing code is for 'ants in your pants-itis' but he's got a bad case.  Anyone that knows his dad, will say it's in his DNA.  Aaron is always into or up to something.  He's like an Einstein energy theory...squared.  He learns best on the job, doing and learning in tandem. 

Me?  I'm old-school, no E-readers and books on smart phones for me.  One does not curl up with a hard piece of machinery...lose oneself in stacks of Kindles.  (A ripple of horror just ran through me!) A cold glass display has no allure for this girl.  There is nothing I like better than finding the oldest book in a library, rummage, or swap-meet.  I like my books to be a bit like me-rough around the edges, frayed in spots, even unreadable in spots, bendable and softened with time and touch.  Montgomery, Doyle, Austen, Poe, Bronte, Baum, Dante, Twain, du Maurier, Yeats & Kipling are friends that I can lose myself with for hours at a time, take them anywhere, revisit them again and again.  If I have free time, I like to slink off quietly by myself-watching and listening from afar.  Porch swings and lightening bugs, sand and ocean waves...kryptonite.

Our difference in personalities and learning styles has meant often our conversations devolve into 'I Love Lucy' worthy episodes.  It can also mean we run into Cool Hand Luke moments..."What we have here is a failure to communicate." 
Early in our marriage this meant moments of exasperation (his) and hurt feelings (mine).  Thirteen year later it ends up in "Who's on fiirst?" hilarity.  He means one thing, but sometimes lacks the panache to say it correctly.  I'm a woman...so I mean one thing but may say another. 
For example, when I started this blog post, I planned to talk about our summer and phasing into fall.  But, as is often the case, my mind doesn't always connect to my fingers as well as my heart.

The word 'season' to most, is defined by spring, summer, winter, fall.

But personally I like to dig a bit deeper into the definition:
To improve or enhance the flavor
To add zest or interest to
To treat until ready for use
To moderate, temper
To render competent through trial and experience

Our family is preparing to head into another season-literally, fall-but figuratively also. 
Each day we realize God is improving us-growing us up more in Him. 
He's molding and treating us until He's ready to use us to accomplish great things. 
Tempering us with the Refiner's fire.
We are becoming more competent in Him through our life experiences, unafraid to see where He leads.

Isn't life experience's greatest teacher?

Season changes are an exciting part of God's plan for our life.

Jeremiah 29:11 

"Me soon come..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPWgSISdYRc

Sharing a brief video from my March Jamaica trip with the Nehemiah Project.
Had the opportunity to meet this little guy at CCCD Jamaica. He is five years old, but had yet to learn sign language. But really-who needs language of any type when you have expressions like him?! What a pleasure to share something so simple-and to see the joy he recieves from it.
Was also blessed to visit six public schools, another deaf school, and an orphange during my visit. Shared Rylee's life verse from Psalm, explaining how God made each of us unique-and that our differences are actually what make each of us so special. Took down some snow from WV-which the kids and teachers all loved-to illustrate how, like us, each snowflake is different, unique, and beautiful.
Had the opportunity to meet two amazing moms caring for beautiful little girls, like our Rylee. God allowed us to assist with linking them up with a local rotary club who gave each girl their first wheelchairs-and their first opportunity to be mobile, up and about. Planning to go back down this month to surprise them both with all-terrain strollers so that the girls can enjoy community activities and attend their doctors visits despite washed out roads, and crazy Jamaican taxi drivers!
So excited and thankful that God has allowed me to share a small part of these little girls' lives.
While we know firsthand one can never outgive the Lord...man, it's sure fun trying!
God is good...all the time!

Special thanks to Jerry & Carol with the Nehemiah Project for making my first overseas trip so easy and enjoyable (minus the straw market!), Pastor Cletus and Tammy-missionaries in Jamaica for picking up SweetPea and letting me meet her and her sweet momma, Michelle and the local rotary club for all their hard work and dedication, and each person here at home who prayed for and supported my trip in numerous ways. "much love"

Recalculating

Life for us over the past year has been a total adjustment, a 'recalculation.'
We realized somewhere in the last twelve months, our role in life has shifted to passenger.
While some would not like the change of pace, or lack of control-we've begun to relish having a front row seat, safely buckled in, anxious and excited to see what's next on the road ahead. Aaron and I have always found it comical the way we pack for trips. We think of everything...Feeding and DME supplies for Rylee? Safe and sound in stow-and go.
Activities and snacks for Ryann? In the bookbag beside her seat.
Multiple seasonal clothing? Of course, after all you never know when you may need gloves, hat, and winter coat while visiting Florida.
Traditional travel CD (really we have a playlist, doesn't everyone?) we never leave home without? In the CD player and uploaded to my iPhone.
Sunscreen and first aid kit? Filled full last night, under the front seat.
For the record, mine is categorized by problem-Bites and Stings, Allergies/Pain Medications, Minor Scrapes and Cuts, Major Bleeding, Ice pack, Anti-septic, and of course every bandage size known to man. My Troop 1041 Girl Scout leader would be so proud!
The girls' favorite blankets and stuffed animal? Just out of the wash, smelling of home, check.
One fancy outfit per person for the fancy restaurant we never seem to get around to patronizing? In the garmet bag "hang it up please honey...no it cannot go in stow-in-go. Did you just put that under the wheelchair?"
The list goes on and on until the girls are buckled in, by now asleep-and Aaron and I are sweaty messes, grinning with relief as we lean together on the back van door to close it. We quickly high five, hop in-drive to the end of the driveway-at which time one of us remembers we didn't tie down the suitcase carrier on top of the car. My husband jokes that he has to go back to work to get a break from vacation! How often we feel that way.
Now...my girls on the other hand-are blissfully out of control passengers.
All their needs are met, they have leg room to stretch out and lean back, generally everything they need for the trip is within arms length.

As a christian it's so easy to see the life parallel.
When we allow God to become the driver-He charts our route, makes sure we are on time and don't get lost.
I Peter 5:7
Deuteronomy 31:6
Matthew 10:30-32
He controls the temperature and speed of our life trip.
He guides our pit-stops-time to rest up in Him and be fed by His promises.
Isaiah 40:31
Psalm 46:10
His direction like a life-song that plays to the tune and speed of the life He has planned out, carefully crafted and thoughtfully carved.
Psalm 28:7

We still have input, but everyone knows the worth of a backseat driver. Our family is constantly discovering that when we go along for the ride-He meets all our needs. He gives us room to stretch and grow up in Him...and somehow, just when we need it everything we need for our trip is within arms lenth.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Thankful for our satellite, who guides us with His GPS (God Purposed Scenery)...buckled in for the ride, excited to see where He will lead us.
Psalm 139:13-16

Blissfully out of control passengers

"We're back.....!"

Wow...after a very long hiatus and a whole lot of changes, we're back to blogging!

In the midst of building our home last year my email (the one I've had since high school, with no security issues, mind you) was hacked. At the same time, Rylee's Google Blog was also compromised.

Our family blog has been a great way to let our close friends and family know what was going on in our lives-how to pray and how to encourage us. What we did not anticipate was all the 'six degree of Rylee' folks who began checking in on us too! We've loved reaching out to meet these new 'groupies', often ministering to other families like our own.
While I hate to restrict this avenue of communication...I also feel the need to protect our family and ensure a stranger or a hacker in a foreign country can't exploit our girls.

With that said-Google Blogs allow me to invite 100 folks to read our blog. If you've made it this far-you are one of those we granted access to!
Sorry about the extra step to check in on RyleeBug-but glad everyone understands.

Hope you check in often. I'll be updating weekly again...promise!
Much love from our crazy crew!