Gratitude

Like most women, I occasionally get caught up in all the stuff, bother, and static of life-forgetting to stop and just enjoy the spectacularly normal moments.  The attitude of complacency and complaining can sneak up on you so quietly-until suddenly you realize your Tigger self has been supplanted by a bad case of the Eeyore blues. 
For many like us who've lost a child or loved one, the holidays can be an especially bittersweet time of year.  Yet, in the midst of everything, our family daily feels an overwhelming sense of God given peace and contentment.  We have an overriding sense of thankfulness constantly rising to the surface, buoying our deep-seated belief that God continues to have more plans and blessings in store for our family.

grat·i·tude

noun \ˈgra-tə-ˌtüd, -ˌtyüd\

: a feeling of appreciation or thanks

 

 

Especially through the holiday season we are daily reminded of the many things we are grateful for.

 

I spent the weekend doing one of my favorite things-binge baking.  My kitchen is currently in such a state of disarray it looks like a chapter from Pippy Longstocking.  I love putting my heart into each sweet confection, hoping it somehow conveys to the receiver how very grateful I am for them.

Now, I get that to most people it's just peanut brittle, biscotti, cookies, cakes, and "Christmas Crack" (seriously, if you haven't looked up the recipe Google it now!)...

but to me, baking is a reminder of so many important life recipes we've experienced this year. 

 

Each ingredient-the sweet, the savory, the bitter even-is necessary to making the final product delicious. 

If you leave one ingredient out of the recipe, you can taste it-or rather you notice it, you miss it.  In life and in baking-you can always tell when someone substitutes one ingredient for another.  A Christmas treat could quickly turn into something the dog won't even eat.

I don't always like all the "ingredients" life throws our way-deeply felt heart hurts, misunderstandings, the feeling of isolation, unspeakable sorrow...

but when the few bitter ingredients are overwhelmingly tempered with the sweet ingredients-

a home filled with laughter, friendships tried and tested by fire, contentment, unconditional love...

you find the final product is baked to perfection.

 

So while I'm busy this weekend loving on the folks who love on us daily-God whispers to my heart that in all things...

in all things...

in all things...

give thanks.

 

 

Shout it from the roof tops, love "recklessly" as a family we know says.  Display your gratitude for all to see.  We are so very thankful, grateful for every thing God has given to us. Thank you for checking in on us throughout the year.  Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support.  Thank you for being patient with us, gentle with our hearts, and thoughtful of our feelings.

It's still very overwhelming and humbling to realize how many folks-many of whom we may never meet-check in on RyleeBug and our family. 



A life not given to mediocrity

Happy Halloween from all of us! 
This time of the year it's rare for Rylee to be out and about.  Flu season and germs are lurking around the corner and usually it's too cold.  We were so thankful for a reprieve-an unseasonably warm evening offered the chance to get out one more time as a family before winter lockdown.
Anyone who knows me well will laugh and agree when I mention I'm frugal...but at the holidays-any holiday-I really enjoy the challenge of doing everything affordably.  Anyone can go out and spend a wad of money on an impressive gift-it's the rare few who take the additional time to really think about what that person would most like, which usually ends up being something inexpensive in cost but invaluable in sentiment.

The same ideology applies to Halloween costumes in our house.  Ryann is a great sport about helping me think up creative costumes and then bears with me as I drag out my Singer sewing machine and hot glue gun, attempting to rival Martha Stewart and her minions. 

 

With Rylee I pull out my secret weapon...

the man of our house, Aaron! 

 

Aaron has the creativity and mechanical skills of McGyver.  Thankfully he's always up for a challenge since I usually need an extra brain to make Rylee's costume.  Whatever I dream up, he makes happen-pretty much in all aspects of our life. 
One can of metallic silver spray paint, a plastic drop sheet for oil changes, and fishing wire for electrical/IT cords later---presto---a huge cook pot that fits perfectly around Rylee's wheelchair.  Add the Muppets Swedish Chef and one very sweet, but sleepy, chicken...along with balloons to look like boiling water...and you have a recipe for hilarity!

Of course, nothing is complete without big sister Ryann-

who decided to be a Ballerina Bandit this year. 

 

 

 

Who strives to be "normal"...mediocre? 

In this house-we embrace the CRAAAAZZYYY, find the humor in the mundane,

and make sure we soak up and revel in these sweet memories.

Extraordinary things...

There's a great quote out there that attempts to encompass, in words, what it means to be a parent.
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone

Our girls continue to amaze us-cause our hearts to ache with bittersweet joy, swell with unexplainable pride, love on a level we never knew we were capable of.  They cause us to catch our breath with the wonder of how God could create these extraordinary girls and give them to such ordinary people.

Tonight I'm especially thankful for Rylee's big sister Ryann.  She with an insatiable deep seated desire to know about the "whys" in life.  The rolly-polly big haired, giggly little baby who has grown into a remarkably wise and settled young lady.  Ryann a crusader for compassion, always choosing to pick the least first.  A quiet demeanor that hides a hilariously dry sense of humor. 

When the girls were younger, Ryann would often ask if she and Rylee could spend some "girl time" together.  This usually consisted of Ryann playing dress up with Rylee-often dissolving into Rylee looking like a drunken gypsy-complete with every Disney costume, make-up, and stickers to "decorate" Rylee's hair. 
Now, Ryann seeks out opportunities to share her favorite music with Rylee after a spa party.  As I clean up dinner dishes, music floats through our downstairs.  Bruno Mars, Train, Jason Mraz, Casting Crowns, Third Day, Norah Jones, Josh Groban-the gang's all here.  Ryann's Pandora channels are as diverse as the people you see at Wal-Mart on a Friday night.  Then, she shares all the latest crazes and memes with Rylee-Kid President and Soul Pancake, the Pinterest page she is working on, Flipboard, and the most recent apps for Rylee's iPad and Ryann's Kindle.

"Extraordinary things are always hiding in places people never think to look." - Jodi Picoult

In our house, we are reminded of these extraordinary things everyday when we see our girls.

Thank you!

For those who have checked in on Rylee over the weekend-she is well, thank you for the calls, texts, and prayers.  She had a minor outpatient procedure Friday.
We left home around 7am after getting Ryann off to school, arriving at Nationwide around 1030am. 
The physical medicine doctor and their staff have been wonderful to us-going the extra mile to ensure Rylee's insurance would cover the procedure.  I don't think they could have treated us any better if we were family.
The procedure was brief and almost pain free for Rylee---she handled it so well.  We hopped back in the car headed for home only to realize I had left my license at the hospital (wish they could find my marbles too!).  After a quick dash back in and a drive through White Castle (my first) for lunch we somehow managed to beat Ryann home from school!

Rylee handled it all like a rock star...Aaron and I however felt a bit like groupies the day after (minus the mysterious tattoos and bad 80's hair).

We should know in the next week if it worked-and if it does, we will have one more avenue to offer Rylee more range of motion.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for the encouragement and support.

I hope to post more this week-we've had a crazy few days and I'm prepping for a certification test so bear with us, but I have several more things to share.  In the meantime, I leave you with last year's homemade Halloween outfits...keep checking back for this year's pic!

Ryann as a ghost, Rylee as Elliott from E.T.
Halloween 2012

Will try our best to get a photo of the Pumpkin House too-with RyleeBug's favorite pharmacist and the town's Mayor.

For those moments Hallmark just doesn't cover it...

ro·mance noun

a love affair

ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people

 

Romance can have many forms. 
There's the Hollywood version-the man realizes too late how perfect she was for him, cue music as man runs through airport desperately trying to locate his love.  The leading lady realizes her life of success and independence is nothing without the mysterious man she met on the subway. 
In literary circles, romance comes across as a morose, wealthy and despondent bachelor-the Darcy figure women dream of.  Maybe the romantic hero of the story meets an untimely death as seems to be the unfortunate scenario in most Nicholas Sparks' books.

As a newlywed I had an idea of what romance was, could be.  But somewhere along the way-in the midst of diaper changes, paying the bills, work, unending nights of no sleep, worrying about the health of our children-my definition of romance has changed.

So, on the anniversary of our wedding fourteen years ago-let me tell you about my romantic husband.

I'm married to a man I respect.  He's hard working, fair minded, ethical in his dealings with others, direct, and expects that from others.  When Aaron says he is going to do something-he does it, whole heartedly, to the very best of his ability.
I trust my husband implicitly. 

My husband may not be the stereotypical romantic-roses, dates, flowers, and love notes...but his romance is better in my opinion.  Fulfilled promises...in sickness and health, for richer and poorer.

He works every day, never complaining, so I can take care of the girls and have time to advocate for Rylee.  Every night he comes home to us, world weary and in need of his girls. 
He loves each of us with a depth that only increases as we mature in our relationship.
He puts up with my crap.  Which isn't excessive (in my opinion) but may explain why he says our marriage has been the best two weeks of his life.  For the record, he also states that in his old age he is never getting hearing aids.
No matter what the situation or crisis I know without a doubt that we are in this together, and he's always got my back.  In fact, sometimes when my soul is too weary he carries me on his back-shouldering heart hurts and world worries.
I never fear he will leave me.  (Although if we ever divorce, my mom claims she gets Aaron in the settlement.)
My husband is so romantic that there are parts of his personality, his heart that he only allows us to see.  He finds time to give us the very best of himself.
He realizes my deep seated desire to serve others like our own little family.  He gives me the ability and encouragement to dream of what could be possible.  He embraces who I am and expects me to be myself.  Loves me because of everything, not in spite of.
My romantic husband realizes that while I love flowers-I'd rather have practical gifts.  The dishwasher one year for Christmas was a huge hit.  The riding lawn mower for Mother's Day, eh-maybe not so much.  Garbage disposal for my sink this year-another winner.
Aaron is so romantic that he bought my engagement ring and paid it off for a year before giving it to me.  The day it was paid for, he asked me to marry him...on Ground Hog's Day.  Not romantic you say?  I'm thankful he was so excited and enamored that he could wait no longer.
He will take the dreaded "Walk of Shame" to buy the things I need, but forgot in my addled state to pick up.  He volunteers to purchase Midol in bulk.  (This veers from romance and possibly boarders on self-preservation.)
He loves that I bake for others-as long as I make a double batch in order to leave one batch at home.
Aaron is steady, solid, dependable.  He acts with his head first and heart second-which is the exact opposite of me. 
There is no one that can make me laugh like my husband.  I'm not talking giggle and sigh type of laughter.  I mean the type of laugh that catches you off guard in the middle of a disagreement and causes you to forget your point.  I'm talking about the type of laughter that makes you laugh until you cry, your sides cramp up, fall off the chair laughter. 
He loves our girls.  He wants to fix everything but has learned sometimes the best ability you can have as a daddy to little girls-is availability.  He takes them on date nights, has slumber parties, watches musicals (pretty sure he's asleep but that's beside the point), and falls prey to Ryann's schemes every single time.
One gentle touch or look across the room-and we can generally tell what the other is thinking.
He tries hard to make the right decisions-covering things up in prayer and including me in his thoughts and plans.

Romance these days for me-is finding joy and contentment in the mundane.  Discovering and discussing topics with such passion and humor that you feel better after the interaction.  Realizing you fell in love with a sweet boy that has turned into a man deserving of respect, who carries himself with integrity. 


Romance isn't just in the grand, expensive gestures-it's found in the day-in-day-out grind of life.  The moments that remind you that somehow you were fortunate enough to marry someone who is your best friend. 
As I see him tuck in the girls, brush their hair away from sweaty foreheads. 
When he climbs out of bed one more time to check on Rylee or make sure all the doors in the house are locked.

Young girls dream of and get caught up in the dazzling, momentary spectacles of romance displayed.
A wife in the midst of a love affair with her husband is caught up in the long lasting expressions of life forged with shared battles and is tempered with humor conveyed.

To my husband-I love you and cannot imagine sharing this life with anyone but you.