Lessons I've learned as a mother...
The more pregnant you become, the more stupid people get.
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong-at the worst time possible.
Case Study #31 - Ryann and Rylee at JcPenny's getting a formal portrait made. Rylee had seizures then filled a diaper and the fake fur background, and Ryann didn't like the photographer so she cried during the whole photoshoot.
You don't need to worry so much-it doesn't help anything.
It's okay to tell your child, "No." (gasp)
Poop does not abide by the rules of gravity.
Case study #15 Rylee can poop in all directions. Sort of like the part in "Forrest Gump" where he talks about the rain..."She can poop up, and down. Sometimes the poop came from side ways." You get the idea.
You lose all privacy.
A child will bring a parent bread and peanut butter into the bathroom and ask if you will make them a sandwich. Fingers will easily fit under all doors, accompanied with a tiny voice saying, "Hey momma, whatcha doin' in there?"
Understand and accept that someone will always stare at your special needs child. That's why I made Rylee a shirt that reads, "Please don't stare, I already get enough therapy."
Always read all the pages in that bedtime book.
Laughter will get you through just about everything.
A child will always want to jump off a bridge if their friends are doing it. Why do moms still ask that question?
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Case study #62 Ryann went to daycare once wearing winter tights, pink Chuck Taylor tennis shoes, a ballerina leotard and tutu, Jezebel dress up earings, and her hair in sixteen different braids...in the middle of winter. Ryann thought she looked, in her words, "rabishing."
Case study #62a The same day, she "decorated" Rylee in no less than six dress up outfits, 23 stickers, "Hooker Red" nail polish, and every set of costume jewelry she owned. Rylee looked like a drunken gypsy, but Ryann thought she looked, "ebsquiddit." -translation, exquisite
A child cannot die from eating dog food.
Playing in the rain, and subsequently the mud, is fun. Clothing can be replaced, the memories cannot. On a side note, kids can get worms from eating dirt-not a personal story, but definetly one to note.
Always carry a spare change of clothing/per child, in your car...and diapers, and wipes, and Purell, and lotion, and sunscreen, and stroller, and socks, and pacifier, and Distat (okay that's just for special needs families!), and a list of those all important emergency numbers
Stain Kilz can cover up almost anything, except for those greasy handprints Ryann left on the living room wall while trying to walk...but who wants to cover those up anyways?
Your child can recover from accidently rolling off the changing table...and into the floor.
Um...er, no (cough) case study, but I have a "friend" that this happened to. Side note-when you freak out while checking and consoling your child, don't step on the Desitin tube that you dropped in your panic. Desitin will not come out of the carpet.
Make friends with and treat your child's doctor(s) well. Then they won't laugh at you when you ask stupid questions. See below.
If your child drinks enough purple KoolAid, they will poop green. Chemical reaction.
Politely listen to all well meaning "advice" given to you from friends, family, and strangers-then promptly forget it all.
Having a special needs child teaches you love, unconditional love, on a whole new level.
Always trust your mommy instinct.
Fisher Price Little People can go through the washer and dryer. Barbies cannot. Ryann's skipper has "third degree burns" on her body and is currently being treated by Ken the plastic surgeon.
Don't feel guilty if you are a working mom. Don't feel ashamed or less important if you are a stay at home mommy.
"Mom" can be said in 19,673 different ways and inflections. I know this because I counted once instead of answering Ryann after the first "mom."
There is no better feeling than grubby hands wrapped around your neck, a child snuggled in the crook of your arm, a wet sticky kiss, a tiny hand gripping your finger.
Take time for date nights with your spouse. And if you have girls, encourage your husband to take your daughters out separately for "date night with daddy."
Children will tell everything they know...but in their version, which is usually worse than the truth.
Answer your child honestly when they ask questions, just use language that's on their level. They are, after all, little people.
If you take time to stop and really listen, you can mend a child's heart and hurt feelings.
Kids will say something very loud and embarassing during quiet, public moments.
Case study #81 Ryann standing on the church pew during invitation and declaring, "Momma, these panties are giving me a 'edgie." Rylee yawning very loudly during a lull in her grampy's sermon.
Quiet is not always a good thing.
Walmart fish will die. Be sure you flush completely, or the fish will come back for a, um, "visit." On a side note, kids don't seem to notice their pet fish...until they are dead.
Case study # 103 Ryann's pet fish - Doe, Ray, and Me. We performed the Huxtable/Cosby episode, memorial service and prayer over the fish.
Live in the moment. Enjoy each second fully.